My Life in Seattle

I have arrived and I have begun!

Life is a new and exciting array of opportunities! Katie and I arrived in Seattle on the 11th after a cross country drive. I stopped by my Alma Mater (weird to say) to spend some time with college friends before meeting up with Katie in Denver, CO. From there we went to Perry, UT, up through Laramie, WY, then Boise, ID, then SEATTLE! I left on the 6th from Texas and we made it on the 11th.

My car was packed overfull, and my dog Riley took the passenger seat to keep me company.

It was so cold when we got in that night, and we were supposed to be able to walk right into our unit to start unpacking, but somehow the wires got crossed and nobody left it unlocked for us so we were stranded! It was 10 at night, and we were two girls alone in the city. Fortunately the apartment manager answers her emails at night, so she kindly called the on-site emergency help (who had previously not responded to OUR calls) and sent a man over to let us in. He had to drive all the way from Kent, which is about 20 minutes, so we started unpacking our things outside our door. It was a hard task with my dog, but we managed to get all our essentials unpacked by the time our helper came by. Katie and I unpacked our cots for the night, flipped a coin for who got the master bedroom (I lost), and went to sleep!

The next day we woke up and got to work. We unpacked our cars, half of our boxes, and then went out for the essentials. Katie and I only packed things that could fit into our car, so not only were we foodless and jobless which is to be expected, but we were furnitureless, and I happened to be pillowless. What a dilemma.

So we spent the next couple days obtaining our food, and random bits of furniture that we needed to unpack our boxes.



We visited a local market, and ALL of the Seattle Goodwills in search of the cheapest buys. I found a beautiful lamp that reminds me of the one my grandmother had when I was a child. I also scored this amazing rolltop desk!



Now we've been here a week and a half and we're almost unpacked all the way. We're having furniture donated on Sunday and I can't wait to have a couch and dining room table! The rest of our time has been spent job hunting.

One of the things I find most frustrating about job hunting is being considered too young. I've been asked 'Are you 18?' Not only am I 18, but I happen to have a degree! However, I feel the search is going strong and I think I'll have a job to speak of soon. Currently I've stumbled into a Stage Managing gig at Stone Soup Theatre, which is terribly exciting. I was originally supposed to intern there to help with marketing, but they needed someone last minute and handed me a contract to sign after a brief interview. The show is A Child's Christmas in Wales and I hope to stay on for the duration of the rehearsal process and run. If I get a day job that will pay my rent and the hours conflict, I'll obviously have to choose to pay my rent.

I have an interview this next week at a Performing Arts Preschool to be a substitute teacher. I'm hoping to grab little jobs like these to have for extra money. As a sub, I would be on call for whenever they need me which would be great!

All in all, I've gotten to explore more than I thought I would. Yesterday I found 2 theatres in West Seattle where I live. I've found some auditions coming up, but I don't think I can afford to go on them until I have a job under my belt. The city is beautiful, and I can't wait to meet more people here. Our neighbors are friendly, and the dog parks are fun places to meet and greet. Everything's going pretty slow right now, but it will pick up soon!

It's really starting to feel like I've moved cross country. Family and friends are very far away, but it's all so exciting right now. Katie has been trying to figure out Christmas plans, and we're looking at spending our first Christmas without family. But we've made a list of our own traditions to start to make this apartment feel like home. All good things.

Serious

Seriously, this has got to stop.

I've always been the kind of person to make the best of things. I know how to keep myself busy. I'm the champion of doing too many things at once.

I'm finally gaining a little perspective on this not-so-fun transition period. I'm getting out of my funk and moving towards a brighter, faster-paced, exciting future.

It's been pretty rough to be out of my element. I get bored, I get frustrated, I get angry, and then I get a little obstinate. None of these are good, but all of them have been amazing to learn well. They aren't emotions that I've danced with before in large doses, and now they're all just more tools that I can add to my growing kit. And they're certainly motivation to get out there and get going.

I literally can not wait to start acting again. I can not wait to have a job, an apartment, and a new city to learn and love. I have so many things I want to do with my life, and sitting around while everyone around me accomplishes their own list has not been the time of my life. I've had a heart to heart with my uglier side and realize now that its just as stubborn as my prettier side is. Fortunately, the ugly side has waived the white flag and is finally letting me breathe again.

Seattle is in sight. It's just around the corner. There have been a few bumps on the road, but I have confidence that Katie and I are going to have an amazing time where we choose to be. This next week is all about the apartment hunt. We have three days to find some suitable apartments, contact the realtors/landlords, see them, decide on one, and HOPEFULLY sign that coveted lease we're looking for. If not, we'll figure it out.

I'm amazed at how unconcerned I am at this point. I'm such a planner. And I used to be a bit more anal about my plans. These days I'm throwing caution to the wind and I'm setting out on a grand adventure that's sure to be full of mistakes. The best part is, I can't wait to make them. Maybe I'll have months full of being obstinate and angry, but the next time someone is auditioning for a character who fits that description, you can bet I'll be able to grab it and play it with the passion it deserves.

I learned so many wonderful things in college, and among them is the talent to let things go. I've gotten pretty good at it. I've also learned how to not control situations and to really throw myself into something I want instead of shying into it. These things might be the most useful tools I possess in my first months in Seattle.

And the ability to have fun. That one's my favorite. Why do anything you don't love?

I need a hobby, or three

They always told us in school that the most important thing you can do for your acting career is to have other interests that you explore regularly.

I thought I had hobbies. I know I have interests; I have things I want to see and accomplish. But honestly, I think the most difficult thing about 'real life' so far is the feeling of purposelessness that comes from not having a set, rigorous schedule that I have to follow. It's up to me to entertain myself, motivate myself, inspire myself.

I have to admit that most days I feel like I'm floundering. I have days where I'm busy, and I know I accomplish a lot. I even have days where I feel artistically inspired (which is becoming sadly refreshing instead of normal). But most days I'm struggling to not be nostalgic or listless.

When my mind is on Seattle, I feel like I'm in forward motion. I know that once I'm there, I can move at a pace that is much more suited to my needs. And I know that in the mean time I should be enjoying this 'relaxation' time while I have it. I'm terrible at relaxing though. I'm terrible at watching and hearing about other people accomplishing things while I sit still.

Mostly I find that I have issues with not moving up some sort of inner social/professional ladder that I've conjured up to keep myself motivated. I need to be part of a group that is working towards a goal. I don't remember being such a social creature before college, but it's clear to me now that this is what I have become.

The frustration that comes from realizing all these things and still somehow being unable to change the situation seems constant. But the moments of clarity that break through occasionally and allow me to breathe and reevaluate myself are becoming more numerous. Slowly I feel like I'm grasping back my sanity and working towards the purpose that I've lost.

I really can't wait until I'm holding it down so it can't escape.

Be the crazy you see in the world

Last night we had our company meeting before strike, and something was said that I hadn't thought about before. Professor B, who is the Artistic Director of the Okoboji Summer Theatre said," This is the last time this company will be gathered together, so enjoy each other." I found that sad until she also said," But that's theatre."

That is so true. Theatre is all about people coming in and out of your life, and allowing them to have a lasting affect on who you are and how you make your art. I've learned so much from meeting so many new people this summer. I've strengthened my previous relationships with students, and I've made some amazing friends. Some might even follow me out to Seattle.

What she said made me really excited to go out and start meeting more people and have more unforgettable experiences that will shape me. Seattle will be such an adventure. And when I'm ready to move on from there, maybe Chicago or New York or L.A. will hold more opportunities for me.

Of course it's sad to see these people go so soon, but it's highly possible that I will meet and work with some of them again someday. And that is the other great thing about theatre. Even though shows end, the world of theatre is so small that you're bound to end up collaborating with the people you love again and again.

I've spent entirely too many days looking up jobs on craigslist, and I've decided that it's depressing to find jobs I'd be good at when the position will be filled far before I move. I'm ready to take a break from this job hunt for a small moment and instead focus on how awesome my last weeks up here will be. I couldn't have asked for a better summer.

Head Strong

It's Pig Roast at the Okoboji Summer Theatre, and currently the marauding pigs are traveling the lot and inciting pig celebrations. It's fun.

It's been a crazy couple weeks here and we're down to the final three shows starting on Tuesday. I can't believe how fast this summer has flown by. Sitting in a different seat, I've realized how far I've come since my time here last year.

All of the students here are going back to college soon, and they're worried about the first audition of the semester, and their class schedule, and their place in the hierarchy of college life. I'm looking at a whole wide world of opportunities ahead of me. I'll be going home to spend time with family before my big move, and I feel oddly free and relaxed. I'm excited about starting life after school. This week has been filled with apartment shopping, neighborhood rating, job hunting, and--of course--networking. I've had the chance to meet some fantastic people this summer, and make some great connections. As excited as I am to be moving forward, it's strange to be leaving these people behind. They're moving in a separate direction, and I hope to run into them someday in the future. Most of these students only have a year of college left, and I bet I'll be seeing them soon.

There is definitely a bittersweet note to the coming end of this Boji, but I feel like it's being steadily eclipsed by my growing excitement for what is to come. So many members of my graduating class have already started their grand adventures, and Katie, Kaitie, and I are on our way to carving out a place for ourselves in Seattle.

I have to say, this might have been the best first professional job I could have asked for, and I really hope to be able to come back someday. I don't think I could have been away from theatre all summer. It's inspiring to see a new show every week and think, "I can do that." I can't wait to do that again.

I've been spending a lot of my time this summer riding my bike, and I've discovered that if I have a destination and an objective to accomplish, that I can ride my bike anywhere! I'm going to have a blast in Seattle becoming part of the two wheel community! I'm also ridiculously excited to have my dog with me so soon. I really think he's going to like the north. I think I'm going to enjoy the trip up--mom says I can drive through 8 states!

I haven't accomplished my goal of reading one play a week this summer. I realized I needed a break from too much theatre. However, I did read The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, and I've started Atlas Shrugged. The first I loved, the second....I can't decide. However, I do want to read as much as I can now that I don't have school. I also want to learn a foreign language--shooting too high? I think not.

I'm off to look for more jobs!

This thing called life

It's been so long since I've written and I have no excuse but life getting in the way.

I graduated college on May 7, 2011. My Oma, Mother, Father, and Brother made it up to celebrate. I spent my last week of college finishing up my final exams, performing my last directing scene (which went fabulous), performing my last college 'comedy' show (which went surprisingly better than expected, but not much that I'll remember too fondly), and packing up all of my un-needed things into haphazard boxes. I juggled my time between family and friends on the last few days and nights. I attended a Trustee Banquet, where I met some amazing alum of my school who inspired me to give back one day. I only hope I'm as successful and happy as they all seemed to be. I had my last senior party, and a graduation rehearsal entirely too early in the morning to be of much use.

Then there was the big day. Graduation. My friends and I carried our dresses and caps and gowns over to the rehearsal room to change before final bows. Everyone in my class decorated their caps to say WWRD, which stands for What Would Rob Do? as a tribute to our Professor who has taught us so much. Professor D gave the acronym to us as advice on our last day of class. Then we all went outside to take pictures for about a half an hour.

When we came back in, it was time for the faculty toasts. The entire performing arts faculty lined up and toasted our graduating class in the rehearsal room, saying inspiring things and quoting the greats. There were quotes from Uta Hagen and Shakespeare, and a lot of great advice. They said we've come so far, and to just believe in ourselves, basically. Honestly, I was such an emotional mess I don't remember any of the advice given by anyone, but I was touched by the thought that went into the toasts. After toasts we had final bows which included every one of the performing arts students walking onto stage with our families in the audience and taking one final bow.

The theatre award winners were requested to go last by Professor B, and I ended up going last of all. I walked across the stage and stopped in the center. I took a moment to stare at my entire class, who I've come so far with, standing on the other side of the stage. I turned to face our 'audience' and then I completely broke down. I took my final bow in tears and my classmates joined me for one final group bow on the stage. I have never felt as fulfilled as I did in that moment. I felt as if I completed a long, hard journey and prevailed.

After that, it was a race to graduation. We ran to find our spots in the processional line. I was in the staff/faculty processional. Which means we led the students into the gym for graduation after walking around the campus like a parade for the parents. I ended up standing close to one of the trustee members that had dinner with me the night before, and I was able to talk to her more. She was great. When I made it inside, I sat on the stage beside the class president and we waited our turn to speak.

I hadn't looked over my speech much since I wrote it. I'm the kind of writer that scraps an entire piece and writes it again if I get too used to it. I decided to play it safe and keep it fresh, so by the time it was my turn to get to the podium and speak, I realized that I didn't know the words I was going to say as well as my theatrical training required of me. However, I wrote my speech specifically for the amazing men and women that were sitting in front of me, and all I had to do was tell them how I really felt. I had so much fun speaking to my class, and being allowed to share my thoughts with them. They brought me so far, and I owe so much to them and the amazing theatre faculty. I cried during the speech, but it was a good cry, and for the second time in the same day I felt really great about what I'd accomplished and where I was going.


My family was asked to stand and be recognized which was really cool, and my class and I sang 3 songs mostly in tears for the ceremony. Afterwards there was such a rush to find family and faculty to take pictures with that I never had the opportunity to say goodbye to everyone. Oddly enough, I didn't feel too bad about it because I have a feeling we'll all be seeing each other again soon in our lives.

I had two graduation meals that day: one at Jimmy Johns as a send off, and the other at Outback Steakhouse, because who doesn't love Outback?

The rest is mostly a blur. I drove home with my brother. My Oma stuck around for a couple of days and then she was off.
I had my wisdom teeth removed and spent some quality time with my friends whom I love dearly. Then it was my turn to head back up to my Alma Mater. It was strange and different to be back on campus, but I had to pick some things up for my summer job in Okoboji, and my friends and I caravanned the rest of the way to Iowa.


Preseason was a great time. We spent three weeks getting the theatre ready to open, organizing tickets, looking through this history of the place and categorizing a lot of things.


I realize that it's the middle of the season now, and I have nothing to show for what I've been doing except a fourth of July tan from playing volleyball and too many mosquito bites to count. I've met some new friends, and spoken with some talented artists.

Honestly my favorite part about this place is being with a family. It's all about being a company here and everybody is constantly striving for the same thing. No one person is singled out, and it just makes me feel like a part of something really great.

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about Seattle, and working at home, and finding work in my future, and what kind of work I actually want to do. I've also been spending a lot of my time enjoying what I have in front of me. It's definitely a strange balance to strike. The students here have been working towards going back to college, and it's odd to know that the staff here won't be going back with them. Most of the staff has just graduated.


What I've learned this summer is to let things happen, and to work hard to be happy in the moment. I should probably have more to say after all the time that has lapsed since my last post, but it's so hard to think about life outside when I'm in this little world. I'm just taking it one day at a time and loving every moment.

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one

Time flies. That phrase has never seemed so applicable. I remember graduating from high school was a sad affair, but it seems so much more prominent now. I think there was the safety of knowing the people I left behind would be there when I got back. There were school breaks to be had, and summers to play in. Now, the future is so real and there's nothing holding us back. When I leave school this time, I'm really leaving. I won't be home for breaks, and soon my friends won't be either. Then there's the amazing women I've met in college that are all starting life with me. I've gone through so much with them, and now that it's time to move on I thought I would be so much more excited for the future. High School graduation was filled with excitement, and I couldn't wait to leave home. Now, I just want to spend a little longer with this inspiring family that I've grown up with instead of moving on.

I've literally not had a second to sit down and write. The seconds I did have free, I've been spending with all my friends soaking up the last moments. I've been dress shopping for a graduation dress, which I have yet to find. I've finished my graduation speech and it's been approved. I've picked up my cap and gown. I've eaten almost too many Jimmy Johns sandwiches. I've had a senior banquet and a Stevies celebration (theatre banquet). I've filmed my last student film. I've seen my last college show. I've attended my last college cast party. I've had my last college class. I've had two finals and have three more to go.

Before this week is through I'd like to write a post about all the things I never want to forget, but I don't actually have time at the moment because I have rehearsal and then performance for a directing scene I'm in. I'm very excited to perform it, and I hope people come! My performance for comedy class has been moved to Thursday so we can perfect our through line for the show, so that's one less stress for the day.

Honestly, I'm just excited to take this week one day at a time, and try not to get overwhelmed. We just had our last class with Professor D and he gave us each an individual comment about what he respects most about us, and what he hopes we keep in mind. He told me that I have a maturity beyond my years but that I can play any age I want, and that he's really enjoyed working with me. Then he told me to remember to be a young woman, and to really enjoy my 20s and 30s because that's important. Thank you Professor D.

So much crying has happened in the last week for my class. There were a lot of tears today because of his comments, and there were a lot of tears at Stevies, which was a great success. Rhea came back into town for it and we got to hear everything she's been up to for the past 4 months. She makes me excited for my future.

By the time Saturday comes, I can officially be Facebook friends with all of my teachers! What an odd thing to be excited about.

I hope you enjoyed how spastic this post was, and maybe I'll be in a better state of mind to write later. Maybe. Who knows?

Slow down life

I can't keep anything straight! It's been so hectic around here, and instead of it feeling like the end is approaching, I just keep forgetting. I feel like I have years left in college instead of 2 more weeks. People have to keep reminding the seniors about deadlines because it doesn't feel as if graduation is about to happen. There's so much left to do. And feel. Ah.

So: My show opened last Wednesday. It went fantastic! Every night of the show was a strong night. I'm not sure I'd ever had this experience before, so it was really nice to have it for my last show. We received a lot of great compliments, and I had so much fun. I had forgotten that I hadn't played a crazy role in a while (probably because the rehearsal process seemed so long), so it was nice to hear my classmates say they enjoyed seeing me in something that wasn't dramatic.

All of the faculty came out to support us, and I couldn't have had a better experience. My costume was fantastic, my castmates were amazing and have great things ahead of them, and I got to work with some of my favorite people one last time. I'd say Friday was probably my strongest performance, but every night was a new show. Saturday night was strike, and honestly it was kind of a blur. I had a moment where I realized it was my last strike...then it passed and nothing seemed to hit me. I think it will hit when we're striking Thoroughly Modern Millie and the rest of my classmates are finished with me.

We had honors convocation and I won the Trustee Award which means I'm the senior speaker at graduation. I also received the Sarah Ann Fay award for theatre, which was really exciting. So many amazing and gifted women have won it before me and I felt honored and humbled to be chosen for it this year. I don't tend to think of theatre or acting as an individual experience. It's about a community, and that means I owe everything I've accompished to the amazing people around me. I think it also made me realize how far I've truly come and how hard I've worked to be where I am. I'm so lucky to have come to the place that I'm at, and I couldn't have asked for a better experience.

Along with rehearsals, performances, and tons of senior things I've also had a couple other events to check off on my to do list. I've had rehearsals for 2 off-the-walls I'm acting in. I'll be performing in Love, Loss, and What I Wore Thursday night and 27 Wagons Full of Cotton on May 3rd. There's been some rehearsals for singing at graduation as well as for the senior recital that's coming up on Saturday.

I've had no afternoon rehearsals for the past 2 days and it's been so strange. Normally, you'd think this would give me more time to think, pack, write a speech, or do something productive that prepares me for life after college. Instead all I do is spend entirely too much time with my classmates talking about how we don't want to graduate but we want to be done with school, staring at my room wishing it would pack itself, memorizing lines, stressing about singing in front of an audience, and designing various projects.

Full steam ahead.

I have so much to do! I'm so happy to be going to Boji because it's a reprieve from real life, but it's strange to see how excited the 2nd years are about their casting. That was me only a year ago--yet I feel like I've come so far. The seniors are in such a different place, and it's strange to feel things coming to an end.

We've had the last Sketchy Business show, the last improv show, and we even held a Warehouse sponsored Murder Mystery/Dance.

I've also finally made the decision to move to Seattle. That's it. That's where I'm going. If I don't like it, I'll move again. But right now, the plan is to pack my car, snatch my dog, and start from square one in the North West corner of America. I feel slightly sick typing this which is possibly a mixture of excitement and unease at the prospect of being at the bottom of the food chain and working my way up.

Which reminds me of everything I learned this weekend about auditioning. I'll have to write a stand alone post about Merri Sugarman's workshop this past Saturday, but right now I have to run to class.