Today was the end of one of the most enjoyable experiences I've had in college. I've made fantastic new friends, and built great relationships. I've learned so much about myself and my abilities.
Our show Friday night was performed to a sold out crowd, half of which were prospective theatre students. This entire run has sold incredibly well, and our resident stage manager expressed that we should all be proud of our hard work on such a well received show. We had a lot to overcome in this process with 4 snowdays, a huge cast, and not enough shop/costume workers to go around. I'm glad to say I was a part of it.
We received a standing ovation at the end of Friday night. It was an interesting show for me because I felt a little off about my performance. But I have to remind myself that I don't always need to like what I give, as long as the audience enjoys it and learns from it. And even on an off night I discovered new things. I listened in ways I hadn't before and tried things that the swing performance had inspired me to try.
Tonight's show was the most fun yet. Everyone was so excited to be there, and so ready to give it one last go. We all started the show in great spirits, and we ended the show in even better spirits. I realized when I started preparing for the show tonight that it was going to be an emotional roller coaster ride. I found out earlier in the day that I wasn't cast in Clean House. I won't be in the musical at the end of semester. So tonight was my last main stage performance. For 3 years, I've called this school home, and it's only fitting that I end with such an amazing opportunity under my belt.
I've gotten to act with 2 faculty members who have taught me so much, and a huge cast of students who live and breathe this art form every day. This process taught me again how to handle a large part and how to listen in every scene. It taught me commitment to character and emotions. I can tell that my ability to draw my emotions out quickly has improved immensely. And I've learned how to be myself again. I spent a lot of time in college being shy when I'm cast, but this show really allowed me to be myself, and I can only thank my amazing cast for that.
I wrote personal thank you cards for everyone because I feel it's important to show appreciation. I write them for every show, but it was especially difficult for this one. I had so much I wanted to say.
I received some breath-stopping, blush-inducing compliments today from people I've never met, and from people I highly esteem. If there's one thing I've taken away from this experience, it's that I want to do this again. I want to be in a large cast, and part of a company that has a common goal.
I've spent a lot of time recently thinking about where I want to end up and what I really want to do for my career. My dinner with 2 amazing alumni women really inspired me to think harder. I know now that I don't want to pursue strictly commercial theatre or strictly avante garde work. I want to be hired at places where they value a company atmosphere. Whether that's at a theatre or on a television series is neither here nor there. I'd like to do a wide range of things in this field, but I know that I don't want to end up doing this just for the money. And I don't want a main role just because it's a good one to put on a resume. I want to enjoy the experience and get to know the people. For me, it's all about the community. That's what I value. And good work comes out of working with people who value that as well. It's what makes me happy.
We striked the set after the show tonight. It was sad to see it go, but I love strike because everyone is working together and you get to be a part of something bigger than yourself. A couple of the members in my cast are in the next show, and I can't wait to see them perform! Professor L magically improves everyone she works with. It's impossible to not grow from the experience. I'll be going in for feedback early this week about my audition, which I'll post here.
So, enough about Sense and Sensibility and our fantastic closing show that made me incredibly happy and proud. More interesting are the two women I had the opportunity to spend a dinner with: Karyn Meek and Mara McEwin. Karyn is a Broadway stage manager who is currently touring the show 9 to 5. Mara co-founded and acts as artistic director for her own theatre company called Treehouse Shakers. They perform theatre/dance performance art pieces for young audiences in New York. They graduated with each other and are good friends. They talked forever about New York, Equity vs. Non-Equity, and how to decide where your niche is. It was fascinating and inspiring.
I learned that beyond not going Equity too soon because of financial considerations(which I'd learned already), it can mark you out for artistically fulfilling work. Mara's company hires Non-Equity and they can pay better than some Equity contracts. She told me that there are many Non-Equity theatres that also offer benefit plans that can be nearly as good as or better than Equity benefit plans. Karyn spoke a lot about how commercial work can be soul-killing if you want to do theatre for the art of it. It's a decision a lot of actors have to make, she says, of wanting to go down the commercially(aka monetarily) successful path or the artistically fulfilling. That's something I don't necessarily have to consider now, but it is important for my future.
They talked about how our college network (especially and specifically in NYC, though it's large in other areas of the country) is magnificent. Both of them (they graduated mid 1990's) were given their first day jobs by the alumni association. Professor L expressed her love of the alumni association as well. Apparently, these amazing women will help hook graduates up with day jobs, agent info, sublets or good apartments to rent, and anything else we could ever want or need. It was really reassuring to know that when I move, I won't be alone if I don't choose to be. Mara also offered to meet up with any of us if we should decide to go to New York for spring break. I'm very excited at this prospect.
Honestly, the last couple days have been a bit overwhelming. I've never been so thankful to have almost no homework over a weekend before. I've thought entirely too much about my future, and I fluctuate between extreme excitement and absolute dread at the thought of leaving college. I suppose I sound like every other college senior on the face of the planet. With the end of this show comes the time for me to begin making a lot of decisions that I'm not entirely ready to make. I have to remember that not everything needs to be decided now, and instead be happy at all the opportunities that are before me.
What an exciting prospect.
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