Last week was one of the most exhausting weeks of my life. I had a lot of lines to memorize, and classes to worry about, a poster to tweak, meetings to attend, a fight/movement scene to choreograph, and my sanity to hold onto.
I wasn't having trouble juggling, so much as I was having trouble staying aware and excited. I had a blast in rehearsals, but come Thursday I was really ready for the weekend. Many of the girls in my class went on their first professional auditions last week, and I was feeling a little like I was running behind again. It's so easy to get into a funk when the future seems so precarious. But then something happens that makes me realize how lucky I am to be doing what I am doing, and to be surrounded by such amazing and creative people.
This week, it was simply watching the beginning of The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie and being helped by so many different people to get my lines down. I've had nothing but encouragement about the show, and even when I'm tired of rehearsing after a long week, I still know how lucky I am to be given such an opportunity. I love working with the talented cast, and I learn something new every night. By Friday night I almost felt like I knew what to do with my hands in at least 60% of my scenes.
Progress.
Saturday I choreographed my piece in the upcoming combat show. The writer of the piece and I decided that it wasn't necessary to include combat because the piece is about empowering women in a different way. Now, I was excited to choreograph a fight scene, and I have little experience in other areas. But somehow, I came up with a few ideas, proposed them to the writer, and I choreographed the piece with success! I'm proud of the ladies involved, because there was a lot of experimentation going on. We spent a good 20 minutes trying to figure out a safe way to do an epic trust fall line. It felt great to be a part of something bigger than myself, and be collaborating in such a free environment. I think it was the most fun part of my week!
Saturday night we had a Schindler's List viewing party. My cast mate John suggested I watch the movie since I hadn't seen it. It was one of those movies I'd been meaning to watch for quite some time. However, the library only had it on VHS, and though we happen to have a VHS player, the sound quality was slightly lower than I expected. I only made it most of the way through the first tape (yes, there are two tapes) before I ran out of time. My classmates were throwing a party we wanted to go to, so we stopped watching and went to the party. I got to see some people I hadn't seen in a while, and I had a lot of fun catching up.
I've also decided to take the advice I was given last night and I will attend some auditions in Kansas City later this semester for experience. I never thought about auditioning, since I don't want to live in KC, but there's no harm in testing my skills and gaining some experience. I'm actually really excited at the prospect.
Now, you may be wondering at the title of this post. On Friday, I had Professor D's Acting for Film class and we listened to some of the girls' experiences auditioning. They all talked about how they expected more people at their auditions, and how some of the places clearly were only casting people they knew or had previously worked with. Then Professor D made us do an experiment. He handed everyone a piece of candy or fruit or some sort of snack and then made us give it a value of 1-10, with 10 being the best. Then he told us we could trade if we wanted to. I originally received 6 boxes of raisins. I hate raisins. I rated them as 1. I traded for conversation hearts, because there was only 1 person who really wanted the raisins. Professor D went around again, and asked us the value of our new snacks. I rated mine a 2.
Then he told us that we had just practiced capitalism, but more importantly, it was a metaphor for our future. We are the snack. Our job is to market ourselves to directors, and casting directors, and producers. And all of these people will value us differently. Some will think we're the best candy ever, and some will think we're disgusting. But all of that is out of our control. Professor D wanted to remind us that there are some things in life we cannot change. We can only be the best candy we can be. We can train ourselves, we can meet people who will help us, and we can be nice to everyone we work with. Everything else is out of our control. He told us that some people may feel undervalued here, at college. But when we get out into the real world, people will see us differently. There will be different competition and different stakes, and the only thing we should worry about is being the best that we can be.
It was a really inspirational talk. Looking back at my time here, I've been cast twice a year. That's good, compared to most. But I've always known that it didn't mean I was better than anyone, necessarily, but just that I was more right for a part out of the people in my pool. I have a lot of friends here who feel constantly undervalued, and they're all incredibly talented and intelligent. It was nice to hear a professor acknowledge this situation, and tell us that our lives will not be a reflection of the experiences we've had here. I hope to be successful in the future. I know though, that success is measured in different ways, and that, even if I might be talented to some people, I could easily never make a career out of this. The only thing I can do is put my heart into working hard and bettering myself, and hope that one day I'm lucky enough to say I've made a difference.
I have homework to complete, and lines to remember. Until next time!
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