All for Love

I love theatre. And I love rediscovering that I love it because, you know, sometimes you just forget. It's easy to take things for granted and get caught up and forget about what's important.

I woke up yesterday thinking the weekend wasn't long enough. I had 1 midterm, 1 performance, 1 quiz, and 1 forgotten homework assignment. I'm still getting over my sinus infection and all I wanted to do was go to rehearsal. I didn't want to go to any classes. I knew when the day started that it wasn't going to be a good day. I didn't technically finish my midterm before the time was out. I went to work at the kids school and they tired me out. I wasn't sure I remembered all the words to my song and I was dreading P-Tech. When I got there, Music Professor told us we were going in reverse order, putting me near the front instead of the back like last time. I didn't have time to think about anything. I either had the words or I didn't. I was either going to add in a gestalt or I wasn't. I was either going to do well--or not.

I got up there and did what I felt, and what I wanted and the second I sat down my whole day felt better. Just because I had performed. Just because I had had fun. Just because I love what I do.

It was such a blast! I had been so caught up in having a bad day, and letting the pressure of having too many things to do get to me. I went up on that stage and let myself go a little and I had a great time. Those are the times that remind me why I do what I do. If I didn't feel like that after performing than I would know that I'm not doing the right thing for me.

I'm really thankful I've found something that makes me feel so happy. And I know that if one day, I don't feel like this about acting anymore then I certainly won't continue to do it.

Music Professor did give me an interesting note though. He told me (in convoluted terms that were hard for both of us to understand) that I was so inverted with my emotions that he almost felt like I wasn't letting him in. I was feeling it, and he liked what I did, but I needed to include the audience more. It wasn't a note that I'd ever received before, but I understood what he was saying because I had done something completely different in my performance yesterday.

However, it really got me thinking about one of my scenes in my show(that opens tomorrow, YEAH!). Sometimes I feel like I'm so wrapped up in what I'm doing that I'm not conveying everything I want to the audience. I wonder if they sympathize with me the way I want them to. I've talked to Director about it, but she hasn't mentioned anything off. She likes the performance I'm giving, but when Music Professor gave me that note, it made me realize that that's what I've been thinking (and been unable to put into words) about that scene. Just something to stew over and fix if necessary.

Rehearsal went really well last night for not having done a full run since last Wednesday. Mrs. Betterton had some costume malfunctions, and all of us got the note to not pick up our skirts with out fists when going up stairs. We need to look more graceful, but it's difficult with layers. All in all we were told to be louder and SLOW DOWN. Apparently last night was a quick run through and we chopped off about ten minutes. I guess we forgot to breathe.

Hopefully tonight will run smoothly and I won't have trouble finishing all my homework for tomorrow!