Reboot

I had my first Seattle audition on Monday, the 9th. It was for a short film that is being shot locally. The script sounded really interesting and I was excited to finally be back in the game.

I had a great time auditioning. I automatically fell right back into the feeling of doing what I love. I got to improv some crazy scenes. One of the directions I was given was to mime playing a piano, and the closer my scene partner got to me I was supposed to react like a vampire would to sunlight. I love acting.

Tuesday I had my first theatre audition for a short play titled Diss and Datt. It's an absurdest drama that explores relationships, failure, regret, and ultimately the way we measure success. I had a great time in the audition here as well. The director asked me to read three monologues consecutively from the script, which I was given access to beforehand, and do them as many times as I liked in as many different ways as I wanted. It was so much fun to stand up on stage and feel like there was no pressure to get it right the first time. I said the monologues at least 3 or 4 different ways, and then the director and I played around with the script a little. The director complimented my college at the end of the audition, which was just amazing to hear so far from home.

I ended up getting cast that night! I'm very excited to go to work with a director that is so nurturing and knowledgeable in the realm of absurdest theatre, since that is one of my favorite genres.

Also on Tuesday, Katie and I met with an acting coach that holds classes and private lessons in the area. We did a short audition and interview and now we'll be having private classes with him weekly.

I'm feeling so happy to be back doing what I love again. I've missed it so much. I'll be jumping into rehearsal this week, and the generals are coming up soon so I'm preparing for those. I have my first acting session this week, and after I save up a little more I'm hoping to start taking some of the great classes they offer around town. I'd really like to refresh my Alexander Technique, and take a course in Biomechanics.

Here's to 2012 and all the fabulous things that are happening so far!

Groove

I haven't written in so long! I needed time to adjust to life, I think.  Things are so different now, and I  had a lot of letting go to do.

Since I posted last I have started 4 jobs. Yes, 4. I have been stage managing at Stone Soup Theatre. I have been working holiday hours at Target. I've become a substitute teacher at the performing arts preschool, but I work full time hours. And I work in the phone center and box office at the 5th Avenue Theatre.

Life is fantastic.

I am now a freelance teacher of theatre for youth and I have 3 classes coming up in the next six months. I'll be teaching a physical comedy class, an elementary acting class with a showcase, and an acting class working with poetry and small scripts.

I have a bunch of classes that I'm looking into taking for myself in the coming months and I'm becoming more and more excited about the prospect of learning more. An actor never stops being a student. I know that I will learn so many things from the people I meet in this journey of mine, and I love knowing that college was not the last step in my education. In five years, I will still value everything my college taught me, but I will know so much more.

Honestly, what I've been doing in the last month and a half is changing my lifestyle, my thought process, and my attitude about life.  There is so much to be learned from hard work and dedication. I've met a lot of people lately who lead lives based completely on their financial means. It took me a while to remember that I told myself long ago that I wouldn't be one of those people.

Obviously I need to be concerned about paying my bills and saving for my future. But working so many hours has really taught me a lesson. I didn't come to Seattle to make a lot of money. I didn't come to Seattle to work all day. I came here to start something new, to meet new people and have new experiences.

I love that I know now what it means to work 19 hours in a day. I know what it's like to not sleep on a bed for two months. I know what it feels like to be broke and worried about making rent. I watch how much I spend at the grocery store, I don't shop unless it's necessary, and I rarely sleep. Through all of this, I've adjusted what money means to me. It's great to have, fun to spend, and sometimes tiring to make. But above all--It does not control my life.

I appreciate the time I've had away from theatre. I forgot how valuable it can be to step back and do other things. I'm excited to get back to it soon, but I'm also beginning to comprehend how important it can be to not let theatre control my life either. I spent a lot of the last month and a half sad about not being more involved in theatre. Three weeks ago I took a look at my life and said, "Seriously? This is why you moved, Sascha. This is what you wanted." I wanted to struggle and get frustrated and find my way to being happy.

I'm beginning to really love this city. The people are opening my eyes everyday to so many opportunities and ways of life. I've learned about being environmentally friendly to an absurd degree. I've learned about different styles of clothes, and food, and bars. I've met people that have become friends when they were supposed to be bosses or managers or directors. I'm finding myself in a way I didn't in college, and it was really difficult at first because I thought I had already done that. And because I was holding onto a lot of things that it was time to let go of.

Life is about discovering love in the people you meet, the places you go, the jobs that you take, the chances you miss, the ones that you find, and the secrets that you stumble onto about yourself.

I came out of college ready to act 24/7, ready to carve my name into the industry indelibly. I've met some actors recently who do theatre for fun. Only every once and a while when the itch kicks in, they'll audition. They all have families, and jobs they hate, and a history of trying to make it but never getting there.

I don't know quite yet what I'm looking for in a career. But I know now that I don't want to be them. I want to always have fun in my day job if I can. I want to act more than they do. I want to go places I think they didn't.

Basically, I have dreams. We all know it. It's all I talk about in this ridiculous blog. But as the time goes by, and the months draw closer to a year out of school, I find myself becoming more focused on where I want to be in a couple years.  How will I make my mark?

I'm not sure. But I want to have the grandest adventure getting there. And when I make it, I want to feel accomplished, proud, and ready to move forward.

How to Survive in the Real World #2

Keep yourself motivated.

The transition from school to the real world or from one home to another can be a long and difficult process. But it doesn't have to be!

1. Find something that you look forward to everyday. This could be what you're having for dinner, a friend you get to see, a book you get to read, going to work, or any number of things. When you have a lot of time on your hands, it's helpful to find something productive to work towards.

2. Keep your goal in mind. Some people think they don't have goals, but that's impossible. Everyone has at least one thing that they want or need, and we spend our days working to get it. My long term goal is easy--I want to be an actress. This also happens to be a short term goal of mine. Now this is obviously not my only goal in life, but it's my most immediate in mind which means it's the one I'm working my hardest on. When you have a goal present it's hard to become complacent.

3. Don't make your goal into a struggle you can't win. Stay positive and make sure you feel like you're accomplishing small steps towards your goal regularly. 

4. Get a hobby. This is probably going to end up on every single list I ever make in my life.

5. Treat yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back in some way every once in a while. Don't let life get the best of you.

Have I become a self help blog? It's possible. Am I writing some of this so I can go back and remind myself to suck it up? That's likely.

I should be starting my second job this week and I'm very excited to start making some real money!

I recently had an interview at a local theatre here for some part time box office work. It was probably my most professional interview so far. The two women were incredibly nice, and I think I would have a great time working at the theatre. They took me on a tour and the space is so beautiful! I can't wait to see shows there! I should hear back relatively soon.

I went to see The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged last night for the second time. I had seen the rehearsal on Halloween and they were both hilarious shows. The three men are very talented Seattle actors, and the most interesting thing is the strangely varying backgrounds they come from. You have to love that every artist has a different story. After the show, the Stone Soup Theatre where I'm working, and where the show took place, had a VIP party for their donors. I got to stick around along with some of my college friends, and I met some great people. It was a really fun night.

Here's a picture of me on Halloween!

How to Survive in the Real World #1

Keep Yourself Busy.

 How do you do this? It can be easy, and then it can get very very difficult. Especially when you're unemployed.

 1. Have a hobby. My current hobby is cooking. I set aside two hours of my day to create a nice meal for my roommate and I.

I create a shopping list at the beginning of the week that includes a small amount of ingredients that can be used in many recipes. This way, I'm thrifty, I stay busy, and I'm full!

2. Keep a Journal. Writing things down is not only time consuming, but therapeutic. Don't have anything to write about? Sure you do. I have my blog, I have my personal journal, and I have my actors journal. It's been difficult for me lately to find something to write about for my blog since it's supposed to be about my theatre career which is almost non-existent at the moment. However, I just think of the things that I would want to read about, and Voile! Here I am writing a cliche, yet extremely truthful post about Real Life.

Other things to write about can be: something you're having difficulty expressing, or things that are jumbled in your mind. Seriously, I just started writing all my finances down in a way I hadn't tried before, and I feel so much better. I made charts and graphs and I feel very accomplished (which is something very important to feel when trying to survive in the Real World).

3. Create future goals and then--attempt to reach them. This one has been the hardest for me recently. I've had to recreate short term goals from my long term goals because it will be a really long depressing time before I'm able to accomplish THOSE. So instead, everyday I hunt for a new job I'd like. And then I apply for it. Now, it doesn't matter whether or not I receive an interview, I feel good that I tried. As it happens, I've just been hired at my third job, so that work payed off for me!

My other short term goals include saving enough money for a bed, finding my future headshot photographer so I can make a money goal I'll have to meet, tak ing at least 3 walks to the park a week with my dog for fresh air and exercise, and keeping my finances in order.

4. Exercise! I just mentioned that I walk my dog to the park a couple times a week. However, I'm a naturally athletic person and I go crazy if I don't have physical things to do. I ride my bike, I jog with my dog, and there's an exercise facility in my apartment complex at my disposal. I think it's really important to have some fresh air in your diet.

 5. Do that thing you told yourself you'd do when you have more time. Mine? Read classic literature. I started Dracula and I keep putting it off. I need to finish it. I also enjoy reading my plays that I haven't gotten a chance to read yet. Maybe you'll want to organize something, decorate something, play something, or go somewhere. There are plenty of things you've always wanted to do if you just take the time to think about it. And if this has been at all a useful list, it proves you have plenty of time to think about it.


All of these are things you can do by spending little to no money, which is actually the most important thing to me at the moment. It has also been the reason I've run out of things to do lately. Still, this just forces me to be more creative everyday until the day when things pick up. I start work next week and I can wait to be a social creature again!

My Life in Seattle

I have arrived and I have begun!

Life is a new and exciting array of opportunities! Katie and I arrived in Seattle on the 11th after a cross country drive. I stopped by my Alma Mater (weird to say) to spend some time with college friends before meeting up with Katie in Denver, CO. From there we went to Perry, UT, up through Laramie, WY, then Boise, ID, then SEATTLE! I left on the 6th from Texas and we made it on the 11th.

My car was packed overfull, and my dog Riley took the passenger seat to keep me company.

It was so cold when we got in that night, and we were supposed to be able to walk right into our unit to start unpacking, but somehow the wires got crossed and nobody left it unlocked for us so we were stranded! It was 10 at night, and we were two girls alone in the city. Fortunately the apartment manager answers her emails at night, so she kindly called the on-site emergency help (who had previously not responded to OUR calls) and sent a man over to let us in. He had to drive all the way from Kent, which is about 20 minutes, so we started unpacking our things outside our door. It was a hard task with my dog, but we managed to get all our essentials unpacked by the time our helper came by. Katie and I unpacked our cots for the night, flipped a coin for who got the master bedroom (I lost), and went to sleep!

The next day we woke up and got to work. We unpacked our cars, half of our boxes, and then went out for the essentials. Katie and I only packed things that could fit into our car, so not only were we foodless and jobless which is to be expected, but we were furnitureless, and I happened to be pillowless. What a dilemma.

So we spent the next couple days obtaining our food, and random bits of furniture that we needed to unpack our boxes.



We visited a local market, and ALL of the Seattle Goodwills in search of the cheapest buys. I found a beautiful lamp that reminds me of the one my grandmother had when I was a child. I also scored this amazing rolltop desk!



Now we've been here a week and a half and we're almost unpacked all the way. We're having furniture donated on Sunday and I can't wait to have a couch and dining room table! The rest of our time has been spent job hunting.

One of the things I find most frustrating about job hunting is being considered too young. I've been asked 'Are you 18?' Not only am I 18, but I happen to have a degree! However, I feel the search is going strong and I think I'll have a job to speak of soon. Currently I've stumbled into a Stage Managing gig at Stone Soup Theatre, which is terribly exciting. I was originally supposed to intern there to help with marketing, but they needed someone last minute and handed me a contract to sign after a brief interview. The show is A Child's Christmas in Wales and I hope to stay on for the duration of the rehearsal process and run. If I get a day job that will pay my rent and the hours conflict, I'll obviously have to choose to pay my rent.

I have an interview this next week at a Performing Arts Preschool to be a substitute teacher. I'm hoping to grab little jobs like these to have for extra money. As a sub, I would be on call for whenever they need me which would be great!

All in all, I've gotten to explore more than I thought I would. Yesterday I found 2 theatres in West Seattle where I live. I've found some auditions coming up, but I don't think I can afford to go on them until I have a job under my belt. The city is beautiful, and I can't wait to meet more people here. Our neighbors are friendly, and the dog parks are fun places to meet and greet. Everything's going pretty slow right now, but it will pick up soon!

It's really starting to feel like I've moved cross country. Family and friends are very far away, but it's all so exciting right now. Katie has been trying to figure out Christmas plans, and we're looking at spending our first Christmas without family. But we've made a list of our own traditions to start to make this apartment feel like home. All good things.

Serious

Seriously, this has got to stop.

I've always been the kind of person to make the best of things. I know how to keep myself busy. I'm the champion of doing too many things at once.

I'm finally gaining a little perspective on this not-so-fun transition period. I'm getting out of my funk and moving towards a brighter, faster-paced, exciting future.

It's been pretty rough to be out of my element. I get bored, I get frustrated, I get angry, and then I get a little obstinate. None of these are good, but all of them have been amazing to learn well. They aren't emotions that I've danced with before in large doses, and now they're all just more tools that I can add to my growing kit. And they're certainly motivation to get out there and get going.

I literally can not wait to start acting again. I can not wait to have a job, an apartment, and a new city to learn and love. I have so many things I want to do with my life, and sitting around while everyone around me accomplishes their own list has not been the time of my life. I've had a heart to heart with my uglier side and realize now that its just as stubborn as my prettier side is. Fortunately, the ugly side has waived the white flag and is finally letting me breathe again.

Seattle is in sight. It's just around the corner. There have been a few bumps on the road, but I have confidence that Katie and I are going to have an amazing time where we choose to be. This next week is all about the apartment hunt. We have three days to find some suitable apartments, contact the realtors/landlords, see them, decide on one, and HOPEFULLY sign that coveted lease we're looking for. If not, we'll figure it out.

I'm amazed at how unconcerned I am at this point. I'm such a planner. And I used to be a bit more anal about my plans. These days I'm throwing caution to the wind and I'm setting out on a grand adventure that's sure to be full of mistakes. The best part is, I can't wait to make them. Maybe I'll have months full of being obstinate and angry, but the next time someone is auditioning for a character who fits that description, you can bet I'll be able to grab it and play it with the passion it deserves.

I learned so many wonderful things in college, and among them is the talent to let things go. I've gotten pretty good at it. I've also learned how to not control situations and to really throw myself into something I want instead of shying into it. These things might be the most useful tools I possess in my first months in Seattle.

And the ability to have fun. That one's my favorite. Why do anything you don't love?

I need a hobby, or three

They always told us in school that the most important thing you can do for your acting career is to have other interests that you explore regularly.

I thought I had hobbies. I know I have interests; I have things I want to see and accomplish. But honestly, I think the most difficult thing about 'real life' so far is the feeling of purposelessness that comes from not having a set, rigorous schedule that I have to follow. It's up to me to entertain myself, motivate myself, inspire myself.

I have to admit that most days I feel like I'm floundering. I have days where I'm busy, and I know I accomplish a lot. I even have days where I feel artistically inspired (which is becoming sadly refreshing instead of normal). But most days I'm struggling to not be nostalgic or listless.

When my mind is on Seattle, I feel like I'm in forward motion. I know that once I'm there, I can move at a pace that is much more suited to my needs. And I know that in the mean time I should be enjoying this 'relaxation' time while I have it. I'm terrible at relaxing though. I'm terrible at watching and hearing about other people accomplishing things while I sit still.

Mostly I find that I have issues with not moving up some sort of inner social/professional ladder that I've conjured up to keep myself motivated. I need to be part of a group that is working towards a goal. I don't remember being such a social creature before college, but it's clear to me now that this is what I have become.

The frustration that comes from realizing all these things and still somehow being unable to change the situation seems constant. But the moments of clarity that break through occasionally and allow me to breathe and reevaluate myself are becoming more numerous. Slowly I feel like I'm grasping back my sanity and working towards the purpose that I've lost.

I really can't wait until I'm holding it down so it can't escape.

Be the crazy you see in the world

Last night we had our company meeting before strike, and something was said that I hadn't thought about before. Professor B, who is the Artistic Director of the Okoboji Summer Theatre said," This is the last time this company will be gathered together, so enjoy each other." I found that sad until she also said," But that's theatre."

That is so true. Theatre is all about people coming in and out of your life, and allowing them to have a lasting affect on who you are and how you make your art. I've learned so much from meeting so many new people this summer. I've strengthened my previous relationships with students, and I've made some amazing friends. Some might even follow me out to Seattle.

What she said made me really excited to go out and start meeting more people and have more unforgettable experiences that will shape me. Seattle will be such an adventure. And when I'm ready to move on from there, maybe Chicago or New York or L.A. will hold more opportunities for me.

Of course it's sad to see these people go so soon, but it's highly possible that I will meet and work with some of them again someday. And that is the other great thing about theatre. Even though shows end, the world of theatre is so small that you're bound to end up collaborating with the people you love again and again.

I've spent entirely too many days looking up jobs on craigslist, and I've decided that it's depressing to find jobs I'd be good at when the position will be filled far before I move. I'm ready to take a break from this job hunt for a small moment and instead focus on how awesome my last weeks up here will be. I couldn't have asked for a better summer.