This thing called life

It's been so long since I've written and I have no excuse but life getting in the way.

I graduated college on May 7, 2011. My Oma, Mother, Father, and Brother made it up to celebrate. I spent my last week of college finishing up my final exams, performing my last directing scene (which went fabulous), performing my last college 'comedy' show (which went surprisingly better than expected, but not much that I'll remember too fondly), and packing up all of my un-needed things into haphazard boxes. I juggled my time between family and friends on the last few days and nights. I attended a Trustee Banquet, where I met some amazing alum of my school who inspired me to give back one day. I only hope I'm as successful and happy as they all seemed to be. I had my last senior party, and a graduation rehearsal entirely too early in the morning to be of much use.

Then there was the big day. Graduation. My friends and I carried our dresses and caps and gowns over to the rehearsal room to change before final bows. Everyone in my class decorated their caps to say WWRD, which stands for What Would Rob Do? as a tribute to our Professor who has taught us so much. Professor D gave the acronym to us as advice on our last day of class. Then we all went outside to take pictures for about a half an hour.

When we came back in, it was time for the faculty toasts. The entire performing arts faculty lined up and toasted our graduating class in the rehearsal room, saying inspiring things and quoting the greats. There were quotes from Uta Hagen and Shakespeare, and a lot of great advice. They said we've come so far, and to just believe in ourselves, basically. Honestly, I was such an emotional mess I don't remember any of the advice given by anyone, but I was touched by the thought that went into the toasts. After toasts we had final bows which included every one of the performing arts students walking onto stage with our families in the audience and taking one final bow.

The theatre award winners were requested to go last by Professor B, and I ended up going last of all. I walked across the stage and stopped in the center. I took a moment to stare at my entire class, who I've come so far with, standing on the other side of the stage. I turned to face our 'audience' and then I completely broke down. I took my final bow in tears and my classmates joined me for one final group bow on the stage. I have never felt as fulfilled as I did in that moment. I felt as if I completed a long, hard journey and prevailed.

After that, it was a race to graduation. We ran to find our spots in the processional line. I was in the staff/faculty processional. Which means we led the students into the gym for graduation after walking around the campus like a parade for the parents. I ended up standing close to one of the trustee members that had dinner with me the night before, and I was able to talk to her more. She was great. When I made it inside, I sat on the stage beside the class president and we waited our turn to speak.

I hadn't looked over my speech much since I wrote it. I'm the kind of writer that scraps an entire piece and writes it again if I get too used to it. I decided to play it safe and keep it fresh, so by the time it was my turn to get to the podium and speak, I realized that I didn't know the words I was going to say as well as my theatrical training required of me. However, I wrote my speech specifically for the amazing men and women that were sitting in front of me, and all I had to do was tell them how I really felt. I had so much fun speaking to my class, and being allowed to share my thoughts with them. They brought me so far, and I owe so much to them and the amazing theatre faculty. I cried during the speech, but it was a good cry, and for the second time in the same day I felt really great about what I'd accomplished and where I was going.


My family was asked to stand and be recognized which was really cool, and my class and I sang 3 songs mostly in tears for the ceremony. Afterwards there was such a rush to find family and faculty to take pictures with that I never had the opportunity to say goodbye to everyone. Oddly enough, I didn't feel too bad about it because I have a feeling we'll all be seeing each other again soon in our lives.

I had two graduation meals that day: one at Jimmy Johns as a send off, and the other at Outback Steakhouse, because who doesn't love Outback?

The rest is mostly a blur. I drove home with my brother. My Oma stuck around for a couple of days and then she was off.
I had my wisdom teeth removed and spent some quality time with my friends whom I love dearly. Then it was my turn to head back up to my Alma Mater. It was strange and different to be back on campus, but I had to pick some things up for my summer job in Okoboji, and my friends and I caravanned the rest of the way to Iowa.


Preseason was a great time. We spent three weeks getting the theatre ready to open, organizing tickets, looking through this history of the place and categorizing a lot of things.


I realize that it's the middle of the season now, and I have nothing to show for what I've been doing except a fourth of July tan from playing volleyball and too many mosquito bites to count. I've met some new friends, and spoken with some talented artists.

Honestly my favorite part about this place is being with a family. It's all about being a company here and everybody is constantly striving for the same thing. No one person is singled out, and it just makes me feel like a part of something really great.

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about Seattle, and working at home, and finding work in my future, and what kind of work I actually want to do. I've also been spending a lot of my time enjoying what I have in front of me. It's definitely a strange balance to strike. The students here have been working towards going back to college, and it's odd to know that the staff here won't be going back with them. Most of the staff has just graduated.


What I've learned this summer is to let things happen, and to work hard to be happy in the moment. I should probably have more to say after all the time that has lapsed since my last post, but it's so hard to think about life outside when I'm in this little world. I'm just taking it one day at a time and loving every moment.

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one

Time flies. That phrase has never seemed so applicable. I remember graduating from high school was a sad affair, but it seems so much more prominent now. I think there was the safety of knowing the people I left behind would be there when I got back. There were school breaks to be had, and summers to play in. Now, the future is so real and there's nothing holding us back. When I leave school this time, I'm really leaving. I won't be home for breaks, and soon my friends won't be either. Then there's the amazing women I've met in college that are all starting life with me. I've gone through so much with them, and now that it's time to move on I thought I would be so much more excited for the future. High School graduation was filled with excitement, and I couldn't wait to leave home. Now, I just want to spend a little longer with this inspiring family that I've grown up with instead of moving on.

I've literally not had a second to sit down and write. The seconds I did have free, I've been spending with all my friends soaking up the last moments. I've been dress shopping for a graduation dress, which I have yet to find. I've finished my graduation speech and it's been approved. I've picked up my cap and gown. I've eaten almost too many Jimmy Johns sandwiches. I've had a senior banquet and a Stevies celebration (theatre banquet). I've filmed my last student film. I've seen my last college show. I've attended my last college cast party. I've had my last college class. I've had two finals and have three more to go.

Before this week is through I'd like to write a post about all the things I never want to forget, but I don't actually have time at the moment because I have rehearsal and then performance for a directing scene I'm in. I'm very excited to perform it, and I hope people come! My performance for comedy class has been moved to Thursday so we can perfect our through line for the show, so that's one less stress for the day.

Honestly, I'm just excited to take this week one day at a time, and try not to get overwhelmed. We just had our last class with Professor D and he gave us each an individual comment about what he respects most about us, and what he hopes we keep in mind. He told me that I have a maturity beyond my years but that I can play any age I want, and that he's really enjoyed working with me. Then he told me to remember to be a young woman, and to really enjoy my 20s and 30s because that's important. Thank you Professor D.

So much crying has happened in the last week for my class. There were a lot of tears today because of his comments, and there were a lot of tears at Stevies, which was a great success. Rhea came back into town for it and we got to hear everything she's been up to for the past 4 months. She makes me excited for my future.

By the time Saturday comes, I can officially be Facebook friends with all of my teachers! What an odd thing to be excited about.

I hope you enjoyed how spastic this post was, and maybe I'll be in a better state of mind to write later. Maybe. Who knows?

Slow down life

I can't keep anything straight! It's been so hectic around here, and instead of it feeling like the end is approaching, I just keep forgetting. I feel like I have years left in college instead of 2 more weeks. People have to keep reminding the seniors about deadlines because it doesn't feel as if graduation is about to happen. There's so much left to do. And feel. Ah.

So: My show opened last Wednesday. It went fantastic! Every night of the show was a strong night. I'm not sure I'd ever had this experience before, so it was really nice to have it for my last show. We received a lot of great compliments, and I had so much fun. I had forgotten that I hadn't played a crazy role in a while (probably because the rehearsal process seemed so long), so it was nice to hear my classmates say they enjoyed seeing me in something that wasn't dramatic.

All of the faculty came out to support us, and I couldn't have had a better experience. My costume was fantastic, my castmates were amazing and have great things ahead of them, and I got to work with some of my favorite people one last time. I'd say Friday was probably my strongest performance, but every night was a new show. Saturday night was strike, and honestly it was kind of a blur. I had a moment where I realized it was my last strike...then it passed and nothing seemed to hit me. I think it will hit when we're striking Thoroughly Modern Millie and the rest of my classmates are finished with me.

We had honors convocation and I won the Trustee Award which means I'm the senior speaker at graduation. I also received the Sarah Ann Fay award for theatre, which was really exciting. So many amazing and gifted women have won it before me and I felt honored and humbled to be chosen for it this year. I don't tend to think of theatre or acting as an individual experience. It's about a community, and that means I owe everything I've accompished to the amazing people around me. I think it also made me realize how far I've truly come and how hard I've worked to be where I am. I'm so lucky to have come to the place that I'm at, and I couldn't have asked for a better experience.

Along with rehearsals, performances, and tons of senior things I've also had a couple other events to check off on my to do list. I've had rehearsals for 2 off-the-walls I'm acting in. I'll be performing in Love, Loss, and What I Wore Thursday night and 27 Wagons Full of Cotton on May 3rd. There's been some rehearsals for singing at graduation as well as for the senior recital that's coming up on Saturday.

I've had no afternoon rehearsals for the past 2 days and it's been so strange. Normally, you'd think this would give me more time to think, pack, write a speech, or do something productive that prepares me for life after college. Instead all I do is spend entirely too much time with my classmates talking about how we don't want to graduate but we want to be done with school, staring at my room wishing it would pack itself, memorizing lines, stressing about singing in front of an audience, and designing various projects.

Full steam ahead.

I have so much to do! I'm so happy to be going to Boji because it's a reprieve from real life, but it's strange to see how excited the 2nd years are about their casting. That was me only a year ago--yet I feel like I've come so far. The seniors are in such a different place, and it's strange to feel things coming to an end.

We've had the last Sketchy Business show, the last improv show, and we even held a Warehouse sponsored Murder Mystery/Dance.

I've also finally made the decision to move to Seattle. That's it. That's where I'm going. If I don't like it, I'll move again. But right now, the plan is to pack my car, snatch my dog, and start from square one in the North West corner of America. I feel slightly sick typing this which is possibly a mixture of excitement and unease at the prospect of being at the bottom of the food chain and working my way up.

Which reminds me of everything I learned this weekend about auditioning. I'll have to write a stand alone post about Merri Sugarman's workshop this past Saturday, but right now I have to run to class.

Lost and Found

It's been so long! I'm so sorry!

A recap is necessary for the past 2 weeks, but first: It's my 21st birthday! I feel....old? Hm. I feel legal, let's put it that way. I feel like my opportunities are endless. There are more things I can do and more places I can go. It's exciting. I had a great time last night. I went to a campus sponsored speak easy where all the proceeds went to VegFam for charity. So technically, I gambled on my 21st birthday because I played some Blackjack, but all the proceeds went to charity! Then the girls in my class took me out and we had a great time. I received a lot of birthday wishes, and I had a large group sing me happy birthday. It was fun!

But moving backwards:

Spring Break 2011--New York City

We left Saturday morning at 7 to get to the airport. The flight over was smooth and we got in at 1. We found Ashley's Brooklyn apartment with no problem. It was a really cute little place. The neighborhood was nice, and right by 5th avenue where EVERYTHING was happening. We spent a morning walking down 5th avenue and it was a lot of fun. The street was so busy, and all the shops were selling the same things, but everybody had customers. We actually ate at a $5 chinese restaurant there called Bruce Lee's Restaurant that was pretty good.

So the first day Ashley took us into the city to show us the little church basement theatre that she was directing at. It was a neat space! She had to work, so Kaitie and I walked down to Hell's Kitchen and explored and at some food. I had the best tuna wrap ever. It had taken us about an hour on the subway to get into the city from Brooklyn so it was already getting pretty late and we decided we wanted to find a show. We found The Women's Theatre Project, which is a small place that a past graduate and friend of mine interned at for a short time. We walked in to explore and they happened to be about to put on a one woman show called Room based on the writings of Virginia Woolf and directed by Ann Bogart. We got student tickets at $20 and piddled around in Times Square before it was time to see the show.

This show was amazing. It was all based on the Viewpoints technique, which is a method that Ann Bogart herself, created. We were watching a show directed by one of the greats. 20 years from now people will be talking about this method the way they talk about Stella Adler and Lee Strasberg. It is already taught (and has been for 20 years or so) in every good graduate program. Anyway, the show--fantastic. I was a little too tired from the plane ride to really take in all the dialogue, but I was so focused on her physicality that I wouldn't have paid total attention either way. 'Viewpoints is a technique of composition that provides a vocabulary for thinking about and acting upon movement and gesture.' So the entire play she did a series of extremely controlled movements in specific orders, all on specific lines. Some were simple-others were complex. I actually tried to do a couple later that night just to see if I could. I couldn't. The climax of the production happened when she did every single move she had covered so far in rapid fire succession. She didn't mess up or lose her balance once. It was amazing.

It really spoke to me about the use of an actor's body as a tool. They tell us how important our physicality is all the time in school. Of course it changes with every role: how you walk or hold yourself. It really helped me unlock the kind of movements I needed to be making with my character Dorothea in Eleemosynary right now.

Also, the set was a box. All lights were visible. And there was nothing but a chair on stage. It was a great show.

Next up--Sunday. So on Sunday we met up with Melissa in the city and we saw a bit of Shetler Studios which is a rehearsal and audition space in New York that, if I lived there, I would be seeing a lot of at some point. Then we went shopping for a while, at which I was completely unsuccessful but Kaitie and Melissa both managed to find something. That night we went to see the show Ashley was stage managing at a different theatre. She was working with the Young Company, which is the Columbia Graduate Acting program students. Some of them were past graduates, and some had yet to graduate. They were performing As You Like It in 90 minutes.

It started out a little rough, but they all settled into it and it became a really enjoyable show. It's a show they perform for a lot of schools, so there were some fun elements like a slow motion fight and live music that the actors added in. All in all, it was a solid show, but the whole time I was watching it I was thinking "My class could do that". Columbia has some great faculty members for their graduate program, but honestly it made me think that I would never go there for graduate school. I want to improve and be surrounded by people that push me harder, and I wasn't impressed by the show to that degree. But I liked the show.

Then we went out for desert in Times Square and we at at Roxy's Delicatessen, which was yummy. We ended up taking almost 3 hours to get home that night. We had to take Katie Mac back to Williamsburg where she was staying, and the subways were running slow. There wasn't a subway from Williamsburg down into Brooklyn, so we had to ride back into the city, then into Brooklyn. I decided right then and there that I don't like my life being dictated by the public transportation schedule, especially when I'm tired and I have someone waiting up to let me in their building. Strike 1 against New York.

Monday we had a chill day. We went shopping with Melissa again, and we decided not to see a show. We met up with some of our classmates for a birthday, which was fun. We called it a night early so Ashley wouldn't be waiting up for us two nights in a row. Tuesday was Kaitie's 21st birthday, and we were on the move to stay at Katie Mac's. We took our luggage into the city and ate at Lombardi's for lunch. Lombardi's is New York's first pizzeria. It's supposed to be a classic. I enjoyed it, but compared to the 99 cent pizza I had later in the week, I wouldn't say it was amazing. They were nice enough to hold our bags for us though. Then we ate desert at a small cafe called The Best Chocolate Cake in the world. I had the chocolate cake, and it was my 2nd best. My 1st is a Brazilian restaurant in Texas. But it was a close 2nd, and I would eat it again. They actually ship their cakes anywhere, but I decided not to tempt myself by taking a business card with me.

After that we headed over to Williamsburg to drop our stuff off at Katie Mac's. We ended up doing some more shopping and I found a pair of boots that I liked for $24! We put our stuff in the apartment, and then we headed into town for a birthday meal at Ellen's Stardust Diner. I have to say, it was the most unimpressive I've ever seen it. That could be because I have a lot more training now, or because I wasn't there with an adult meaning I didn't look like a child meaning I didn't deserve special attention, or it could be because they just didn't know how to work a crowd. Possibly a mixture of all three. Seriously though, they all sounded great ( I think they sounded the best out of every time I've ever been) but they just didn't interact. They all stood in the same place to sing, or they sang while they were serving. But none of them sang to anyone specific, or seemed to have anything to say with the song they chose. Kaitie wasn't impressed, and our server hardly paid attention to us, even after we told him it was her 21st birthday. Strike 2?

We went out to some bars that night. We went to the International Bar (?) in the east side, which we decided wasn't the atmosphere for us. After that we went into Williamsburg to a bar called Barcade which had a bunch of old arcade games that everyone could play for 25 cents. That was a fun time, but we called it a night early and decided to watch some Robert Downey Jr. movie at Katie Mac's place before going to bed.

Wednesday we moved our stuff up to Harlem where we would be staying with Rachael that night. Then we went into the city and saw Arcadia for a matinee and Driving Miss Daisy at night. Arcadia was something I really wanted to see. It had Billy Crudup in it and I am a huge fan. We got student rush tickets and the show was amazing. I absolutely loved it. It's a fantastically intelligent and humorous script, and the acting was supreme. The set was beautiful and simple. It's a play that goes between two different time periods, and they did it wonderfully. I loved everything about it.

Driving Miss Daisy was phenomenal as well. Vanessa Redgrave and James Earl Jones were stunning. I was originally sad that I couldn't get tickets to Warhorse, but I'm so glad I had the opportunity to see this show instead. I saw two of the greatest actors of this century on stage. My professor says everybody should see Vanessa Redgrave before she dies. I will have something to talk about for years to come. They were literally amazing to watch. Mr. Jone's characterization absolutely blew me away. And to watch the two of them age was such a great educational tool since I have to do the same in Eleemosynary. Also, the stage had a bunch of slipping set pieces on it, which was really cool to watch. They had a rotating piece of stage for the car, which was a neat idea. The play was great!

We went out that night to see everyone one last time. It was crazy because everyone from my school that went to New York for the break showed up at the bar, and we had a lot of fun speaking to all the alumni. Rachael's apartment was really cute, and I got to sleep on my second blow up mattress of the trip. I slept on a floor for 2 nights, a couch for 1, and an air mattress for 2. I loved every minute of it.

Thursday morning we were up and out of there in time to explore for some of the acting schools I wanted to research. I tried to see the School for Film and Television (Conservatory of Dramatic Arts now it's called) and the Stella Adler Studio, but both were in random buildings on some high floor and I didn't feel comfortable waltzing in. So instead, we went to the American Natural History Museum, which was one of my favorite things on the trip. I had so much fun! I've forgotten after going to theatre school for 3 years, how nice it is to be reminded of the outside world and where we came from. It's an amazing museum and I wish I could have spent more than 3 hours there, but we were on a race to get a deli sandwich (which we were told we had to do before leaving New York because it is classic cuisine) and catch a subway car to the airport.

There was a bit of a snafu which almost made us entirely too late for our airplane. Instead we were only marginally late and we somehow made it (with the help of a nice man who ushered us down 5 more ramps, after 1 football field of running through an airport, into our flight just in time and became our saving grace) into our seats. The stewardess was nice enough to provide us with bottle water to catch our breath and we were off! A five night, six day trip to New York City complete!

What did I learn? I hate the cold. I'm not the biggest fan of public transportation late at night. Carrying luggage around through a large city is tiring and just a hassle. I love theatre. I can do theatre. I could live in New York if I had to. I don't want to live in New York at this moment if I don't have to. I hate the cold.

That about sums it up.

So we got back, I did a bunch of homework, and I officially became addicted to past and present ABC Family television shows that should probably only entertain preteens. What can I say?

This week has been even crazier than the two before it. We crashed back into rehearsal, and were in much better shape than when we left because surprisingly a week off can always do more good than harm. I had a presentation and 5 page essay for Dramatic Lit on Monday. Comedy Class on Tuesday consisted of us starting to piece together our final company class show based on Lysistrata. Wednesday was Crew Watch and the beginning of Tech Week. Thursday was Warehouse Board Elections. And Friday was the Boji Meeting and my Birthday night!

I've had entirely too much homework to be happy. I've been looking into Seattle a lot and am 85% certain I'd like to possibly move there after Boji. I could expound on that, but since I haven't made final decisions I'll save it for another day.

It is obvious to me now that I'm capable of writing entirely too much information in one go, and that it's slightly odd I chose my birthday to take the time to write this down. Today I want to see a movie because it's been so long. And then I'm going to Melissa's senior recital and 33 in 66 to support my friends! Happy Birthday to me!

Here's some pictures to make this post even longer:

What's in a name?

I've gotten so incredibly busy that I couldn't stop for a moment and breathe to write this. I probably should have taken the time to do so and I wouldn't have felt so crazy!

We finished blocking the show on Friday. We're on Boji time, it seems. We were able to work a lot of character things in with blocking, so it was fun. What's been taking up a lot of time is our character work. Director E has been letting us do character exercises in rehearsal to help us build these characters. Some days we have to walk around and interact with each other at our different ages in the script. We have a research assignment every day about our characters that we share. On Friday, we came into rehearsal and the middle of the floor was filled with random things. Director gave us 2 minutes to grab what we thought would be in our character's room, then we had to sit down in our 'space' and write a letter to one of the characters in the play. It was really hard, but it was incredibly useful. It took about 20 minutes, and then we read them out loud.

We get to do all of these exercises with the swing cast, which is great for interpretation. We get to understand how another person thinks of our character from a different point of view. By Monday, we were working the show. We started at scene 1, and we just started and stopped every time Director E had an idea. It was a lot of moment work, which is always great to focus on. We tried out a lot of new choices for our characters and discarded the ones that Director E didn't like. We've been working off book for scenes 1-3 since Monday, and the rest is off book by Friday. It's so nice to have the script out of my hands!

We met individually with Director E last night to talk about our characters and what directions we're thinking of going. It was nice to finally hear where she would like me to go. She'd been giving me a lot of freedom lately, and I toned my character down. It turns out she'd much rather I go bigger and crazier. I'm really excited to start on that! I got to do it a little last night. We reviewed Act II so we could have the lines in our bones again before getting off book.

Director E gave us an updated time line for our characters. The ages change so rapidly in the play, we had to map it out to be able to grab how old we were in a certain scene. It turns out Dorothea (my character) was born in 1910! Our assignment for tonight was to pick what kind of music we think our characters listen to. I've got some research to do.

I've been working all last week and this week on the poster.
It's gone through more revisions than my previous ones, I feel like. But I'm happy with the final outcome. The faculty and the board had input on this one, and it was nice to hear the opinions and be able to fix the problems.

I've been a little stressed this week because there's so much to do. There was the frustration of feeling like I wasn't doing things right in rehearsal (which I know now to be because we were going in 2 different directions), homework for classes which includes memorizing new monologues, memorizing for the show, memorizing for Acting for the Camera, working in Box Office on Boji things, and midterms for Creating Online Media and Voice. When it gets to this weekend, I'm going to RELAX.

Last weekend, I had some fun seeing a show downtown with one of the former teachers here. Addison was fantastic! It was a two man show, called Halper and Johnson. I hung out with some friends last weekend, which seems to be something I don't get to do a whole lot, so that was great too! I also watched the movie Auntie Mame for some character study, and it was very helpful.

We had an assignment for Comedy class to be a man doing a task. Last night I went down to the boys and 4 of them were nice enough to take our the trash for me so I could observe them. Then they walked me through their thought process of taking out the trash, and then they helped me make sure I looked like a man while doing it. Definitely one of my favorite assignments I think.

Today in rehearsal, we're going to get hypnotized by a certified hypno-therapist. My character is an eccentric who regularly takes her daughter to be hypnotized, so we thought it would be great to know what it's like. I'm SO excited!

The weather on Monday was horrible--it snowed 6 inches. But for the past 2 days it's been 70 degrees outside. I love it! I can only hope New York stays semi-warm for my visit. I'm very excited for Spring Break. Not only does a week off sound fantastic, but I'm getting pumped to see some amazing shows!

Class time!

You can't always be prepared

Orig. Title: How has attending a Women's College helped me?

I had an interview yesterday for the Trustee Award I applied for. If I win the award, I get to speak at graduation. I was interviewed by 4 people, all of which are involved with my college, but none of which I'd met before. They were incredibly nice and easy to talk to. However, their questions were things I've thought about in my own time, but not necessarily things I'd had to formulate answers for before. And of course, in an interview situation, you have to have an answer.

I spoke a lot about how much I love this college, and how much I've learned about myself as an individual. In fact, I must have been too positive about the school, because I was asked if there was anything that bothers me about the college! That was hard to dig myself out of. Honestly, I felt like I talked in circles and repeated myself a lot. I also couldn't remember the ten ideals of my college...oh wait, that's because I never had to learn them. Honestly, I should know them anyway after all my time here, but I don't. I didn't look very intelligent on that answer. Overall, I became frustrated (not in the room of course, but afterwards). The questions they asked were things that I wanted to sit and think about before giving an answer. Subsequently, I'm still thinking about them now. And some questions I didn't think had appropriate answers, such as: How are you so involved in theatre with such an intense, accelerated curriculum, and involved around campus, and still manage to keep your sparkling GPA? My response was: I do my homework.

I wouldn't say the interview was rough, but I'm not sure it was my shining moment either. I learned a valuable lesson about interviews though: you can't always be prepared.

So: backtracking. I saw a True/False film this year called The Arbor which was very good, but incredibly depressing. The idea behind it was interesting. The director did audio interviews and then hired actors to lip sync to the voices of the real people. It was pretty amazing.

I also went to see the dance concert. Some of my friends from Freshmen year had solos, and it was amazing to finally get to see them shine. They did a fantastic job! The costumes were stunning, the dances were really cool, and I had a great time with friends!

Friday night I had auditions and callbacks for Eleemosynary, and Monday the cast list went up. I made it! My character is Dorothea. She is a 75 year old mother/grandmother who has recently had a stroke. All of her action in the play takes place in the memory of her granddaughter Echo, who imagines her much younger. So for the most part, I get to be in my 40's and 50's, but she was born in the 1920's. I'm so excited to research this role. I have so much that I can do with it. Since we found out we got cast the same day as our first rehearsal, I haven't had much time to prepare. I'm definitely going to take this upcoming weekend as a time to dive into everything. We've blocked 2 scenes so far, and my cast is amazing! We also have a swing cast that will get to perform one show. The girl playing my role in the swing cast is great! I'm so excited to get to work with her on this project.

Already I've been researching eccentricity, since my character is a notable eccentric. The play is really about a family of geniuses. All the characters are incredibly smart, so it's a lot of fun to work on such an intelligent script.

Also this week, I've been working on the directing scene I'm acting in. It gets better every time we run it, which is no surprise, but it also becomes more fun. I'm always finding something new to laugh about, and it's so easy to be natural in this role. I love knowing that I get to come have fun every time we rehearse, and I don't have to worry about being somebody else necessarily. We perform that this coming Sunday!

Yesterday in comedy class we had to perform a skit by our comedians. I was playing Molly Shannon's character Mary Katherine Gallagher.
She's an Irish Catholic schoolgirl whose grandmother thinks she can be a superstar. She has no social skills, she puts her hands in her armpits and smells them when she gets nervous, and she watches too many made for TV movies. I had a blast! I got to jump around, do a horrible monologue and song, and fling myself onto a pile of folding chairs. She always does dangerous stunts, but I made sure it was safe. Professor L loved it! She told me I was her doppelganger and that I did a great impression. You can sort of see the stack of chairs I jumped on in the background.

Here's a link to the skit I copied for class. It plays an advertisement before it lets you watch, but it's worth the wait! Just copy and paste it.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/4121/saturday-night-live-st-monicas-talent-auditions


It's been a crazy couple of days. We've been reading more plays in Dramatic Literature, and doing more on camera scenes for Acting for the Camera. Our next assignment due before spring break in that class is called Hidden Camera. Professor D has give us 6 monologues. We're supposed to choose one and then have someone film us performing it in public somewhere off campus in a creative way. If we use a stranger, they're required to know they're being filmed of course, but the hardest part is making the monologues into our own words. They're very difficult monologues, which Professor D gave us on purpose. I'm excited to try it out, though I haven't decided how I want to perform mine yet.

I'm so busy all of a sudden that I'm having trouble keeping up with things. Our next assignment in comedy class is to perform a Shakespeare monologue as our comedian. You can not possibly understand how excited I am to perform Shakespeare as Mary Katherine Gallagher. It's going to be so awkward!

Peace be unto you

It hasn't necessarily been a busy week, and I couldn't decide what to write about. Classes have been going well. We watched a lot of our film footage in Acting for the Camera. I felt good about some of it, surprisingly, but I have a lot to learn.

I've spent a lot of this week catching up on real life. I've been doing some research on Seattle, and internships there. I've been thinking of pros and cons for moving certain places. Honestly, I just talk myself in circles, but at least I feel mildly productive.

But here's the real stuff: we read and discussed a play this week called Yellow Face about the practice of yellow face (think black face except for Asians) in the theatrical world, and the way that society tends not to oppose the idea of yellow face the way that black face is opposed. People are offended by the use of black face today because our country is so racially charged. But honestly, until I read this play, I hadn't even considered the struggles of Asians in America. It was definitely an eye opening play.

We discussed whether the idea of one race playing another on stage is ever appropriate. There were a lot of opposing views, but the majority thought that if the circumstance was meant to be farcical, or an artistic experience, that the idea was acceptable. But most of the time, the class agreed that the subject is offensive and inconsiderate.

This week I also watched one of the movies on the list that Professor D gave us to watch. I watched Malcolm X. I knew of Malcolm X, but because of his more radical approach to the topic of integration and race, he's not really covered in school the way Martin Luther King is. This movie was amazing to watch. It's about the journey and transformation of a young boy into a man. It's impossible to put race aside when speaking about this movie, but what really inspired me wasn't Malcolm X's ideas or methods. It was his ability to grow so much as a human being. He was constantly having his eyes opened to the injustices of the world, and learning of new faults in himself.

Most of what I'd heard of Malcolm X wasn't positive, and I'm definitely inspired to go read his autobiography (which is named one of the 100 most influential novels of the 20th century.), but I'm interested to know how much of the movie is true. I'm assuming most of it, otherwise the family wouldn't have let it be made. In the movie, the majority of the first half is Malcolm X being a hypocrite, and then espousing black supremacy which was equally supported and opposed at the time. But he continues to listen to people, and grow from his experiences (namely a trip to Mecca) and he lets them shape him and his cause. He's not afraid of change, and he's fighting for results. By the end of the movie he is working for a common cause, and is trying to fix some of his past transgressions.

It was inspiring to think that I can and will continue to grow as a person after I leave school. My time here is almost up, but I'm no where near done learning. I like the idea of traveling and learning about other ways of life, and opening my eyes to the world around me. It makes me excited about every possibility that lies before me.

This week made me proud and thankful to have grown up in the generation that I have. Race is and will always be an issue. But so much progress has been made.

There were 2 unfortunate incidents in my city this week. On a nearby college campus, there was a rape, and at our local grocery store there was a sexual assault. Though I live in a college town that can get pretty rowdy, it is not often that incidents like this occur. We've received an email about ways to handle situations like these should they occur, and the security staff has decided to offer self defense seminars in a couple weeks.

My freshmen year, we were required (as a class) to have a seminar with some members of the police force who spoke to us about how to conduct ourselves in a college town to avoid incidents like these. Because I go to a women's college, I thought these discussions were extremely relevant and important. I'm thankful that our staff take the time to help us protect ourselves by giving us important knowledge. We even received rape whistles in our mail boxes that came on lanyards so we could easily attach them to our purses.

The idea of assault is incredibly scary. But having gone to a women's college for almost 3 years now, my views are much stronger on the subject. I feel for women as a collective group now, in ways I didn't before.

I'm going to be moving to a larger city soon, and I'm inspired to not only be aware of myself and my surroundings, but to make sure that I can protect myself. I never want to feel helpless in a situation.

So, this week has been a learning experience all around. I've learned about my future, about the past, and how to stay aware of the present. And this afternoon---Eleemosynary auditions and hopefully callbacks! It's going to be a fun day!

When I Say Jump--Say How High?

I've been meaning to update all week, because I feel like I learned a lot I need to share, but I just didn't know how to put it in words.

I'm still a little confused, but sooner is better than later.

Monday: My first school day being done with the show. It was weird. It was nice. I ran around getting the programs printed for the Warehouse show, and then folded them. I had a lot of time for my homework in the afternoon and evening. Kaitie and I let our first year friend Emma sleep over because her whole building's heat got turned off. We went and saw the Sketchy Business show, which is a student sketch comedy group on campus. It's made up of mostly underclassmen, but the boys stepped in for a skit this time, and it was really great! I'm really enjoying watching as much theatre on and off campus this semester as possible. I find myself wanting to be as involved as I can before my time is up here.

Tuesday: Here's where things got a little interesting. Professor L spent our 2 hours of Comedy Class talking about our futures. We started by going over some of the girls' experiences at their Midwest auditions. Then we moved into subsistence work (Young Audiences Inc.), touring shows, writing your own material, and working off royalties. Those were things we'd heard before from Professor D, but Professor L shared some of her personal experiences, and it was eye opening for me. Then we talked about regional markets vs. New York City, and we covered some common misconceptions there.

Normally, I love that our faculty tends to have completely differing opinions on most subjects, and you can find what works best for you as an individual. This week I became slightly frustrated that I didn't know who's advice applied to me better. Professor L said that New York is mainly for the singers. And the way to make it there is to go with a meal ticket in hand. The interesting, artistically challenging works start in the regions, pick up momentum, and then move to NYC. Why not get on board with those in the regions? We spoke a lot about how we have to find the markets that fit our style.

Then we talked about finding our type (the most difficult assignment for me last semester). Know who you are, Professor L said, and know what you need to do to be fulfilled. Do I want to do commercial theatre or artistically challenging theatre? Professor L spent a lot of the class time looking at me when she spoke of leading lady types and graduate school. She said that some people will hit their prime later in life and will work more then. She told us that graduate school should be done only when you are ready for it. Some people wait 8 years for graduate school. I believe Professor L waited quite a few years before graduate school, and she received two degrees (Acting and Directing) at different points in her life.

She wanted us to talk about our fears. We spoke up about wanting a paycheck to validate us when we graduate, not knowing who we are beyond this school, and not knowing how to proceed.

Honestly, it was nice to have this talk because these are the kinds of things we're desperate to hear this last semester. It shows us the faculty understands and they care. However, it was so overwhelming at the time, no one really knew what to say or ask.

After class I went up to Professor L to set up a feedback time with her about my last audition. Instead she told me right there why she didn't cast me. She gave me nothing but amazing feedback, which made my head spin a little(a lot). She'd never been so honest with me, and I felt for the first time here that I could go to her for anything, because I know now how much she believes in me. So after that 4 minute crazy interlude in my life, I asked to meet on Thursday for a talk about graduate schools.

Wednesday: I had a blast in the box office! This entire week I spent a lot of time in the box office, and I had the opportunity to do a lot of new things. I started correspondence with designers, made gift certificates and donation cards, and to trouble shoot some technical difficulties. I'm not sure why I'm so excited about this, but I am! Box Office is cathartic to me, I think. I really enjoy being around the people, and working on the business side. Sometimes I don't know how they keep it all together though, because it's so much work!

That night I saw the opening of The Young and Fair!

My mentizzle was sick, and she was the lead in the show, so her understudy had to go on! She was absolutely fantastic. What a model for all the other understudies out there. She never looked like she didn't know what she was doing or what she was about to say. Every understudy should always remember they might have to go on. It's easy in the real world when you're being paid for it, but at school sometimes people forget. I was so proud of the entire cast! Of course, I'm going back tonight to see the show, because my mentizzle is better now.

Thursday: I met with Professor L before class. She talked with me more in depth about why I was thinking so strongly of moving to New York. She expressed again that there are 50,000 unemployed actors in New York with more experience than me. Why not go when I have a sure thing? Or better connections (ie after graduate school)? She also told me that I should strongly consider film, which I told her is an interest of mine anyway. She urged me to look into markets with a strong film base such as Chicago. Chicago also does a lot of new works, she said, and that's the kind of work I should be involved in, she said. It was really nice to have such an honest talk. I told her about my interest in Seattle because my friends are moving there, and she told me that as long as it has a good film scene, I should consider it.

We talked specifically about choosing a graduate school that pays for me and has a repertory or regional theatre attached to it. She graduated with an MFA in acting from UMKC, and she told me that when she was there, they brought in world class directors and playwrights to work with. By the time she graduated people couldn't believe that she was so young and had worked with so many amazing people. She told me that's the kind of program I need to be looking for. She warned me to not think about graduate school until I knew what I wanted. Graduate school should be done when you're sure of the direction you'd like to go so you can choose the school that's the best fit for you. I take that with a grain of salt only because I think that I'm not sure I'll ever be able to choose exactly what I want. I'm not big on boxing myself in. I'll make sure I'm interesting in learning what a program has to offer.

In Comedy Class we went around in a circle and talked about the backgrounds of our comedians we're about to start 'inhabiting'. We didn't make it all the way around because our research is so in depth. Next class we're going to finish the Bio circle, and then we're going to start our sketches. We're supposed to have taken a sketch we think we can imitate of our comedian and perform it eventually. I'll be doing Molly Shannon and her Mary Katherine Gallagher sketch from SNL. I'm really excited about it. She's a total spaz.

Thursday it also started snowing again, out of no where. I went to see Bach's Lunch with some friends. I loved it! Erin (my mom from Sense) performed a duet called Secondary Characters from Title of Show. It was fantastic. I had such a great time watching new people perform too.

My Creating Online Media class was cancelled because of the snow, but I'm basically finished with the resume page we had to code. I only need to add a navigation bar and a .pdf link of my resume to download.

Friday: I had to tell a personal story about a piece of art that is meaningful to me in Acting for the Camera. It was a closeup shot and we had to make it conversational. I told the story of buying my first book of poetry, and how I used to think I'd be a writer. It made me promise myself that I will still be a writer. I've been so caught up these years here that I've forgotten one of my first passions. But soon, I'll have a lot of time on my hands.

Last night was the opening of 33 in 66 at the Berlin Theatre downtown. Basically this show was created off the idea of the Neofuturists' show Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind. A group of students here got together who were all inspired by the above troupe, and they decided they wanted to do a similar show. What happens is, there is a closeline on stage, with numbers attached to it. Each number stands for a different 'play'. The audience calls our a number, and a member of the troupe takes it down, reads the name of the play and they have to perform it right then and there. When that one is done, another random number is called. The actors never know which number correlates with which play until they read it, and the order of the plays is different every time because of the audience. The goal is to put on 33 plays in 66 minutes! Crazy right? It's so much fun to watch! The sketches range from funny to honest, and it's all student written. Tons of my friends were in it and they did such a great job. They're planning on doing a new 33 plays every month! I can't wait!

Saturday: So this weekend is all about catching up for me. I still have an essay to write for this award. I have to start watching more of Molly Shannon. The Oscars are on Sunday, and I've signed onto do a directing scene that starts rehearsal tomorrow as well. Busy Busy, but nothing like it was. Also coming up this week: my last audition at college--Eleemosynary!